Tiresome feelings

So I've spent the whole night doing nothing productive. And I've got a few things that have been bothering me. The biggest one is that I feel like I haven't been doing anything productive. It's bothering me that my husband goes out almost every day to work and I sit around and do nothing. He doesn't want me to get a job because he thinks I won't get to spend anytime with him. But I feel like I've been spending to much time by myself. I need to be doing something with my time or I might lose my mind. I've given my husband some options I could be doing to make some extra money but he has turned them all down. For one you have to spend money to make money, but he also thinks no one will want to buy the thinks I make. I'm a little hurt about this, but I'll just have to find something else to do with my time.

The other thing is, I'm lonely. When he's gone it's just me in here. I do have my friends on xbox live. But they are only online from nine pm to maybe three am if I'm lucky. For the rest of the day I'm crazy lonesome. I spend some of my time trying to find someone awake at such an early hour, or isn't at work. But that doesn't work out very well for me.

That brings me back to why I'm here. I'm pretending like I'm comunicating with someone, even if the only person here is me. And writing makes me feel like I'm doing something with my time. So now that I've got all these things written down and my feelings have been convayed to the best of my abillities, I'm going to try to write something worth reading. Until another day imaginary readers.

Something that just hit me.

Love, it's not something you should hold back. It's not something you wait to give to the right person. It's not something you're too afraid to share because you're scared it won't be returned.


Love is a feeling you should share with everyone, deserving or not. You can't give only a little bit of it either. It needs to overflow on to everyone you meet, so they too will want to share it freely. When everyone feels loved and accepted there will be no more war, no more fighting, no more hate. All that will remain is peace and happiness.

How can you say that isn't something you want to achieve?